I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize
