remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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