Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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