I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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