So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
