this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
