Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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