i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
