It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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