Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
