Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize