Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
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Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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