WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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