I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
