Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
