Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
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I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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