OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
