I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
