I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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