Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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