I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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