Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize