They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
