Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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