At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
