You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
