I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think your dad took our porno
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
