i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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