I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
