you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
