Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
