I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
