bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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