please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize