a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You smell like stripper and shame
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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