He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
