my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
