How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
