before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
