Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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