you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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