Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Sorry about my life...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
