Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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