found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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