Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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