you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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