I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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