i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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