hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
