She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
