Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
