yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
