jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
