Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
