if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
