I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
