my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
