she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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