hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
