Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
