As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
