Kareoke will never be a sober sport
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
