he wants to bone in the snuggie
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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