i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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