next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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