If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
